Raising Teens…While Married

Moms, we love our teens. We love Refined Magazine. We love this blog about helping our teens! But after the teens are gone, there’s still you. And if you are married, there’s still your husband. Today’s blog is written for the married woman.

I have no formal training on how to be a wife or be married. I have, though, been in the Marriage classroom almost 32 years. In this school, I’ve learned amazing life lessons. Struggles refined my character. Hardship gave me strength, and not knowing what to do, made me humble and kept me on my knees. Volumes have been written on marriage. I’m skipping the book and in reflection of my upcoming anniversary, I’m sharing a summary of what I wish I had known when I first got married…and how I am striving to apply today.

  • Decide what it means to be “easily offended.” Then don’t be that way.
  • Never talk critically about your husband in public or with a group of girlfriends. Only build him up and speak of his positive traits. When necessary confide in a close friend or two for prayer.
  • Ask God to open your eyes to see the needs of your husband.
  • Put him first—especially in his eyes.
  • Close your mouth.
  • Pray more.
  • Forgive him quickly. Do not insist on being right.
  • Ask for forgiveness.
  • Do for your husband what you wish he would do for you.
  • Fight fair. Get to the point of what it’s really about. Then solve it.
  • See his perspective.
  • Appreciate his talents.
  • Understand that God is teaching your husband through being married to you, too.
  • Pray daily for him—but not that he change! Pray that God opens his eyes to see what He wants to show him. Pray for his protection.
  • Assume the best.
  • Work hard to keep your marriage alive. The time you have alone can be used for talking, connecting, dreaming, and relaxing. Then when hard times come, this strong foundation will help you weather the storm. Anytime two people come together, you will have different ideas, views, and attitudes. Put forth the effort.
  • Be nice. Treat him like a friend.
  • Laugh more.
  • Recall often what made you fall in love. Think on those beautiful qualities.

A marriage with imperfect people won’t be perfect either. But by applying these reminders, marriage can be sweet and fun and blessed by God.

By: Debbie Presnell



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