But you, keep your head in all situations ~ 2Timothy 4:5a
Drama! Let me begin by defining what I mean by “drama”. Drama is a situation that is a fueling of the flesh causing hurt to others unnecessarily but generally intentionally because it is fueled with emotions rooted in selfishness and hurts that are not healed or under control causing the person to loose perspective and what’s true in the situation.
While we hate it, we can choose how we respond to it.
Our choice is either fueled by the Holy Spirit that puts out the fire drama creates, or it’s fueled by the gasoline of our flesh igniting that fire into a blazing destructive flame.
Drama is a trap and when we trip into it, before we know it we can be sucked in and consumed.
For most of us, as a mom or mentor to teens, falling into the drama trap happens one of two ways.
- Drama finds its way in your child’s life. Whether drama comes through mean girls, social media, bullying, breakups, coaches, teachers or any other way your daughter is mistreated. The momma bear in us can rage and in our desire to protect, we get mad, we get vicious, we get consumed and we over react.
- Drama can also take up residency in our homes if we have a child who lives through a dramatic lens. With this child everything is overwhelming, exhausting, and completely unfair. She tends to live in a posture of defensiveness. There can be so much going well for her, but the one thing that isn’t quite as it should be (in her eyes), is the focus and consumption of her thoughts, conversations and actions.
While we can’t escape drama, we can heed the wise words of Paul to Timothy and keep our head in all situations.
When we get sucked into the drama trap we lose our head instead of keeping it.
Drama gets all the attention these days….just look at the news! It’s a worldly pattern. God, however, rewards those who do good, blesses the obedient; He is near those who revere Him. God does graciously pursue and attend to the drama queens and He certainly hears the cries of those calling out to Him. What you won’t see though, is God forgetting the needs of everyone else to meet the needs of the one.
An older woman told me you are always there for the child who needs you most. Another older woman said why is the one who has the bigger story more important than the one who doesn’t? Challenging perspectives when we stop and ponder them. One states the one who needs me gets me and my time. The other challenges me to think what am I really rewarding?
If your daughter is in the swirl of drama she needs you to see what she can’t. She needs you to be a voice of wisdom that sees a bigger perspective. She needs you to be a light that wisely guides her through challenging and hurtful situations. No one benefits if we feed the drama with more drama by getting defensive ourselves and making matters even bigger than they already are.
God is faithful to give us wisdom generously when we ask. You hold a privileged position to be a source of wisdom for your daughter, pointing and modeling to her the wisdom of God. God’s wisdom will be life giving, not just in this situation, throughout her life.
Are you stuck in the drama trap because your daughter sees life through a dramatic lens? Ask yourself these questions.
- Who absorbs most of your time? Energy? Thoughts?
- Who is your prayer life consumed with?
If your prayer life is consumed repeatedly with one child beyond a short season at the expense of others, you may have fallen into the drama trap.
The bigger lesson that’s taught when we fall into this trap is an unhealthy pattern of always rallying around the one. We walk on egg shells, modifying our behavior and giving the drama child way too much power in the home.
Do you have a compliant child going through his/her days doing the right thing but rarely noticed? Is their voice stifled or rarely heard? Resentment is given ground to grow in the heart of the compliant child as they see the drama child getting all your attention.
To avoid falling into the drama trap don’t let one child consume all of your time and attention. Every child needs a mom who hears, prays, listens, guides and loves. Keep your head in all situations, because in the midst of drama, someone needs to.
Need wisdom to handle the drama? Submerse yourself in Proverbs! Reading and heeding one Proverb a day for a month will give you wisdom to handle those who can be challenging bringing life, peace, balance and value to all in your home.
By: Kelly Vance